Quitting your job with no backup is terrifying and liberating. Sometimes its only one or the other. In today’s case its the other. I didn’t want to quit my job. Well, that’s not entirely true… I didn’t want to be in a position where quitting was the logical choice. For those of you who’ve been following my blog for the past few weeks, you know I’ve been struggling and flirting with the idea of quitting for some time.
You also know how badly I wanted it to work out. To become a licensed financial advisor; get sponsored and residency; be on a travel team… I spent lockdown learning financial literacy, and then had a chance to use that new knowledge, plus my sales skills from 2019 in a practical sense for my New Zealand goal.
In the end, it came down to money. Ironically, When I began University I told myself; my life and actions will never be about the money. I lived a pretty fucking sweet life. Somewhere along the way, it became all about the money. Now I have no money and little options.
The Market Won’t Back Me Up
My secret super-power has always been confidence. I’ve never really been afraid to get fired because I’m so transient and used to living off little funds. That and a guy with x amount of tree-planting experience doesn’t have a hard time getting a role as a laborer. Its shit, but it’s fast ‘between jobs’ employment and it pays.
Sadly, COVID decimated the New Zealand market. Monday’s yield was the labor agencies across Christchurch have been slow. The Facebook Job Boards have “Desperate for work” listed much more frequently than “looking for staff”.
My Kiwi friends once again show stark surprise at the thought of quitting your job with no backup. The first thing everyone asked me was when I start at my new place. When I said I don’t have a new place they asked why I quit my current job. They all said the same thing. You’ll need to hustle to find somewhere new in the COVID market.
Do I Feel Defeated?
Well Yeah. This was attempt number 4 at my New Zealand plan. Failure Number 5 if you count my mix up in Indonesia last March. I often find myself wondering if I should have taken the 1000$ loan from my Mom and hit new Zealand then. Instead of spending the year in Canada.
Everything would be different. For better or for worse, I will never know. My very good friend Julie told me not to look back, or muddle myself over those coulda woulda shoulda’s. She’s right. Sitting here and pondering will do me nothing. I should only focus on what I can control, accept, and adapt to what I can’t.
Two months of my Working Holiday Visa wasted. Two months I’ll never get back. At least I met Callum and Guy. They’ve been fantastic friends to me in Christchurch. Better than I deserved. I’m worried that without this job, my friendship with Guy will fade. That’s one thing that really sucks about growing up. Realizing the majority your adult relationships are based around work.
Its another thing that keeps you from quitting. You don’t want to lose your friends.
Fuck It
It’s not like being without friends is new to me. I’ve been aware of my lonlieness since August, 2019. Almost a full year…
Why should losing it again scare me now? As for my job… Yea, it’s nice to tell people I had a job. It was cool to have something to do. And when I think like that, I need to ask myself a very important question that made me understand the workforce.
Why do people work? To make money.
And when you’re working 4-6 days a week, often 5/6 hours a day, on top of 2 hours commuting each day. For a grand total of 96$ a week… You realize Woofing is a better financial decision. Working for free is better than working that job (at least in my position). And that’s me want to cry. Saying that to myself makes me feel better about quitting at least.
My friend Julie gave some good reasons to why I should do it. It takes away the stress of paying rent and groceries. With my nesessities covered, I can operate in my easy, confident manner. Things tend to work for me when I’m in that mode.
I Want To Say It’ll All Work Out
Quitting your job with no backup plan is definitely a leap of faith. Most people don’t make these leaps unless they’re brimming with confidence, desperate, or acting on emotions and impulse. I guess its desperation that pushed me to where I am.
Though how desperate can I be; knowing I’ve got a cushy savings account back home. At any time during this lockdown ordeal, I could have pulled funds. Gotten a car; fed myself better.. Partied and explored… Even now, I could have supplemented myself and kept grinding the marketing job until something popped up.
Yet I’ve told myself to look at those savings like an investment, and every book on finance (like Rich Dad Poor Dad) says a car is a liability. What a betrayal to my self-education that would have been; to spend my investment money, no matter how little. On luxuries and liabilities….
What Can Be Done
The only way to make things work out is to have a positive attitude, be open to opportunities and put in work. As much as I hate it. As discouraging as it’s been. Writing cover letters will have to become the new normal once more. Hundreds of applications, all over the country now. No longer on the South Island. No longer on places close. I’m a traveler, and I’ll go to parts remote, isolated, unknown, and undesired.
When you’re quitting your job with no backup, you’ve got to accept where you land.
When you quit your job with no backup, you’ve got to keep your confidence high. Fake it till you make it, as no one likes desperation. You quit because the last place wasn’t good enough, but anywhere you apply, and what ever you do is better. At the end of the day, every business wants to feel like the best. Every employee and manager wants to feel like their company is THE INSTITUTION, and therefor you quitting your old place to be a candidate for there’s should be a compliment to them. Not an opportunity for you.
For those of you thinking about quitting your job with no backup, good luck. We need it.
Canada Day In New Zealand During The Pandemic