Sitting in the cab at 3 in the morning being driven to the top of a mountain for a bush party I couldn’t help but look back on the fastest year of my life and wonder what went wrong and what went right. The first year of my life where I truely questioned if I moved forward; gained maximum value from my time and evolved into the person I want to be. I was angry at myself. I wanted nothing more than to end my 2020 in a festival. Celebrate COVID freedom wasted in the bush; spinning fire and dancing around.
While I couldn’t afford a ticket to the festival of my choice, a beautiful woman had invited me to a party on a mountain. Sunset to sunrise, in the middle of pure New Zealand Bush. But I was late, and with questionable company.
I had my friend Michela, and her friend Keri in the cab with me. Keri was a horrible drunk, with her actions and words weighing on my attitude by the sentence. Someone who wanted nothing more than to argue and ruin the time of others who would dare be happy without her permission. Michela, who was eager for a good night. Unwilling to let anything bring her down. Everything was merely a new opportunity to have fun, a new adventure to undertake.
And me, negative. Was it Keri? Was it my friends bailing on the plan to hit the bush party? Or was it my terrible time management that had me in such a mood at 3 AM, climbing this hill to the New Zealand wilderness?
I realized it may have been a mixture of all three, but more importantly, it was my attitude in general. Watching Michela, and her eagerness to enjoy life, have fun, and value moment made me reflect on mindset towards everything this year. Woe is Me. Why do I have a struggle?
There were challenges, setbacks, and hardships. But my life has always had all three. I became one of those people who allowed life to beat me down. And I chose to stay down. To play it safe, while yearning for risk. To move slow, miss the boat, shrug, and say “O well, nothing has gone right for me this year.” Reflecting on Michela, and her eagerness to have me and Keri enjoy our night; I can’t help but feel selfish for once again making things about me. Becoming wrapped up in the self-pity for missing a party, and the negative mood I was pushed into. Not noticing the energy and enthusiasm they were bringing to the table.
Me and Michela eventually sent Keri home in a cab. We walked along the beach, and while I was eager to get home, as four hours of Keri left me in a foul mood; Michela urged me to swim in the ocean with her. And she was right, it was exactly what I was going to need. A way to refresh and awaken.
Instead, I chose to stay tired. It was chilly on the beach at 5:30 in the morning. With no towel, and home an hour away, I opted to stay dry.
And that was no problem for Michela because she was on a mission to have a good time and enjoy her New Year’s no matter what. We met fire spinners twirling their wares on the water. We joined. Watched the sunrise over the mountains, and spun fire. This sunrise has to be one of the most beautiful sunrises that I’ve seen in a while. Usually, the mountains on the Nelson peninsula are silhouettes hidden by fog. Not this morning.
For once I saw their rocky grey peaks. Yet again being selfish and keeping this magical moment for myself. Not stopping anyone to watch it with me. And then I spun fire once more.
Since picking up Poi in Dunedin, a big goal of mine was to spin fire for New Years’, And I got that wish. I spun fire to the sunrise. Slept on the beach as the sun melted my face. Only to be awoken by the circus folks burying me under driftwood and sand.
Michela helped me fight off the friends turned foe. We left quickly after, and only once we had the distance, did Michela reveal she had dropped three tabs of acid while I slept.
Hungover, exhausted, and nearly buried alive. I would now have to babysit my friend tripping on 3 tabs of acid in the middle of Nelson beach. Google maps said it would take us 49 minutes to walk from the beach to her house. Due to my fatigue and her hallucinations, it took us close to 3 hours.
I was shitty for the first part of the walk. Tired, dehydrated, and cranky. But her enthusiasm to enjoy the day, and revel in the night’s highlights made an impression. Last night, like all of 2020 had its highlights and great moments. Yes, the lows were low, but the highs were shared with great company. There were beautiful sights and genuine laughs.
I enter 2021 with a much greater gift than I thought I would receive. The universe gave me a stark wake-up call I desperately needed. CHANGE HOW YOU REFLECT ON THE DAY. Be concuss of what you focus on.
And when you make plans; commit to them fully. Don’t drag your feet. Don’t allow yourself to become sidetracked and blissfully distracted. Charge forward. Follow the plan, and move with confidence.